Do you ever get the feeling that you are just split in half? There is a real part of you and then another part of you that you present to the general public. I like the word bifurcated because it is not a purely psychological word – it is a way of seeing things. Sometimes the personality that we present is appealing and picturesque and the hidden part is what we long to express but for reasons beyond our understanding we do not – we hold back – we keep it to ourselves. It always seems to me that Jesus brought out the true self from his followers. They saw the world in one way and lived in it another way but after they met Jesus because they were released to live in a fully human life – they could be themselves. Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:12 “Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.” In other words we can be ourselves if we let the manacles fall off and live a truly free and expressive life. This is not about living with wanton hedonism void of care for ours or others well-being – it is a life of unbounded freedom and grace.
So why do we settle for less? We want to make a good impression. We want to make our parents happy. We want to make our children and spouse happy. We want to make our boss happy. We want…you get it – the list is endless. It is not a selfish thing to realize who you are and move toward that person in a much more honest way. As someone once said, “The courage to change doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ ” Sometimes that expression will hurt or disappoint others and that may well be the price of freedom. It is not an intentional hurting – it is the side effect of the freedom we have been given to be born again.