Spiritual Life Coaching – Parenting the Parent
There is that old saying that there comes a time when the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. I hope that I will not be a rebellious unappreciative old man. I have to deal with a mother-in-law who has early stages of Alzheimer’s and a father-in-law who distrusts everyone except an advisor who he really should distrust. After a recent hospitalization he has gone to a rehab center and is doing well (in a manner of speaking). My wife was the conscience of the family – the care giver – the overseer – the health advisor and more. She was not completely trusted either but she was able to counsel and make slow headway. That is all over now. Tomorrow I become the counselor – it will be either further nursing care or extended home care.
There are so many complications that I won’t even go into it. “Honor your father and mother…” the commandment says. The Bible also reminds parents: “(Parents) Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or exasperate your children [with demands that are trivial or unreasonable or humiliating or abusive; nor by favoritism or indifference; treat them tenderly with lovingkindness], so they will not lose heart and become discouraged or unmotivated [with their spirits broken].” Colossians 3:21
From that great source of strength which is the prayer community I say, “I need prayer.” My father-in-law needs care, his son (who lives with them) needs patience and guidance, my mother-in-law needs a humble spirit, and this one advisor that they deal with needs to be out of their life. I want to do the right thing to honor Sue’s memory and love for her family but they make it so hard and they seem so unappreciative of any help they are given. Is it time for tough love? I would say that it is more a time for supernatural intervention.
So thanks for letting me use this blog to vent my frustrations and ask for prayer. Friends have said to me, “You don’t need this right now.” They are right but what am I going to do? I will do my best and then walk away hoping they will make the best decisions.