When You Can’t Solve It
There have been a couple of instances this past week that have just stumped me in the relationship department. Both involved phones, texts, and in general the lack of person to person communication to solve relationship issues. The tendency we all have when relationships break down is we blame someone. There is a failure in relating to the other. At times it results in outright hostility, anger, and abusive language or actions. We’ve seen it at the highest levels of our society. The #MeToo movement was spawned by abusive actions towards women but it goes far beyond that.
In the two instances that I have dealt with it was families both of whom experienced some kind of trauma and have not been able to resolve their differences. It’s been frustrating for me because I have not known what to do. I am in a helping profession but sometimes I can’t. I pray for wisdom but ultimately it takes people saying that it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong but let’s find a way to work this disagreement, this problem, or this hurt out. Is it better to be right or be well?
In one case it is a family rejecting a child – it’s abandonment and it pains me deeply. I cannot solve it and now officials who care for kids are working to solve it. The other is a family that is not speaking to each other and have said hurtful things to one another. The Bible says, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Col. 3:13 or as Jesus said, “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. …” Luke 6:27ff
If we would strive to be more like Jesus we would seek more tender and compassionate ways of dealing with one another. We would not avoid the tough conversations or the tender forgiveness. So until then I will keep praying.